Pre-Marital Musings

As I prepare to engage in cleavage (What's that? No, no, no, I'm not talking about boobies, you boob! I'm talking about marriage! Leave your parents and cleave unto your wife? Hello?), I'm struck with several thoughts at random: Is it possible to be Reformed and not be a "full" Calvinist? Just how dumb is our convention, really? Passing that alcohol resolution was even dumber than the Disney boycott. Speaking of dumb, why are we counting non-Christians as church members just because "we don't want to lose prospects for evangelism?" What happened to the church being a body of believers? If this knot in my tummy means anything, then I think I've just discovered what "pre-wedding jitters" are. It is annoying. I was fine until now! I'm going to hurt my boss for giving me those jitters when he reminded the entire department about my wedding at work last night. He's already been duly threatened and the rest of the guys have volunteered to hold him down. Is everything ready? I hope the folks from Tennessee get up here to the 'Ville okay. I sure wonder how dadgum gorgeous Tricia will be. We might have to change her name to Grace, cause I'm sure she'll be irresistible. Queerest of the Queer: Late-night infomercials. The one that's on now is for "80s Gold." That's a great decade; unfortunately most of us are still trying to forget how uncool we were. But we've never had better toys than we did in the 80s--Voltron, the original Transformers, G.I. Joe, Star Wars. The old school stuff can't be beat. Strangest of the Strange: We're having an organist at a Deaf wedding. Numbest of the Dumb: The poor men and women humiliating themselves on Fear Factor right now. They just got done eating spiders, scorpions, and bugs. *shudder* Lamest of the Lame: Outgoing SBC president Bobby Welch's foot-in-mouth moment where he said, "Maybe if we spent less time blogging we would spend more time baptizing." For those of you who came of age in the 90s, you ought to recognize those last 4 thoughts being from Garbage's song Queer. Is it really less than 36 hours till the wedding? I'm going to enjoy the honeymoon. Thanks to everyone who's prayed for us and who have fed me through their blogs, seminary classes, friendships, and so on. I love you all and look forward to this new chapter of God's will for my life!

The Dangers of Reformed Thinking

I had heard a few months ago that someone in the SBTS blogosphere was planning to write about the "dangers" of Reformed thinking. Well, "a few months" have passed, and no such blog has been forthcoming on the SBTS metablog. So, I have decided to list a few of the dangers that accompany Reformed thinking.

1. You will read what the Bible actually says.
2. You will give up what you want the Bible to say.
3. You will be driven to study meticulously.
4. You will develop a hunger for the weighty words of dead theologians.
5. You will become a better theologian and Bible scholar.
6. You will disdain "rededications," preferring instead perseverance through discipleship.
7. You will despise "altar calls."
8. You will believe giving a Gospel invitation is mandatory.
9. You will think the purpose of preaching is to present the Gospel.
10. You will hold that "it's all about God," not "it's all about us."
11. You will become more and more bewildered at the appallingly unenlightened state of the church.
12. You will desire that people disagree with what you actually believe, not with their made-up bogey men.
13. The less fortunate will become theology hooligans.
14. You will chuckle amusedly at Emergent/Arminian/heretical/(insert adjective or group here) theology (especially after reading Purgatorio's treatment of the EC).
And worst of all:
15. You will start telling really bad jokes using each point of the TULIP.

It was predestined and irresistible, so sue me.

Somebody Finally Gets It Right...

Drs. Albert Mohler and Paige Patterson, SBC seminary presidents both, have just made my day. Reading this report of what initially was characterized as "Clash of the Theologians" nearly a year ago has warmed my pre-marital heart and set it aflame with fresh fire. They discussed their differences over the system of Calvinism the way true Christian brethren are supposed to. Somebody finally gets it right. It's days like this that make me glad to be a theology hooligan. In other news, Mr. Frank Page has been elected president of the SBC. You may recall that I supported this guy (see this post), despite his obvious theological flaws. It's difficult to withhold support from someone who seems to genuinely want to work with those brethren with whom he disagrees theologically. On the blogging front, I've been lax. I fully intended to have the doctrines of grace finished this week; instead it has taken a back burner due to the massive wedding preparations I have been doing. Is it really only 4 days left? I may try to get at least irresistible grace done, but I'm not making promises this time. I am currently in the process of getting moved out of Fuller Hall on campus and into our apartment. Pray for this time, as I absolutely despise moving. But this move is for a better blessing than I could ever hope for! With that, I take my leave to go finish my laundry and pack up a few more boxes. May God richly bless you!