Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the return of the Weird-O-Cron™! This installment: FERRET LEGGING!!! Ferret legging is the oldest sport involving an animal where competitors are not riding. Ferret legging is described as: A sport practiced in Yorkshire, England. It was first brought to light by Donald Katz, in an article entitled “King of the Ferret Leggers,” in the February 1983 issue of Outside magazine. The sport involves putting two angry ferrets inside one's trousers, having first tied one's trouser cuffs firmly to one's ankles, lest the ferrets escape. The competitor then cinches his belt tightly, and the clock is started. Competitors cannot be drunk or drugged, nor can the ferrets be drugged. In addition, competitors cannot wear underpants beneath their trousers, and the ferrets' teeth cannot be filed or otherwise blunted. The record-holder at the time of Katz' article was Reg Mellor, a 72-year-old retired miner from Yorkshire. Mellor's winning time was five hours and twenty-six minutes of "keepin' 'em down." It was Mellor who instituted the practice of wearing white trousers in ferret-legging matches "to better show the blood." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is truly weird.