Weird-O-Cron™ - UPS Edition

For the UPSers out there, especially the illustrious Jason Doty, here's what will either become a boredom buster or cause you to contemplate trichillomania (obsessive hair-pulling). Welcome to

Weird Package Hunt!

The game is for those who directly handle packages at UPS, specifically loaders. Here's the first rule of the game: Suspend your sense of what is normal. It doesn't work otherwise. This should be easy to accomplish after a minimum of 15 minutes of slinging boxes. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is simple: Hunt for packages on your belt that are just a little off. This could be anything; it could be a town name, company name, the type of goods being shipped, etc. Having found a package, you have the option of doing several things. First, you can create a limerick about the oddity you find. For example, one day I saw a pet stroller coming down the belt. Now, that in and of itself is odd enough (and in fact I think I blogged about it sometime in the past). Here's the limerick I concocted:

Once I had a pet stroller. I gave it to my dog to spoil her. I rolled her by the church, The Spirit gave her a lurch, And now she's a yappin' Holy Roller.

Second, you can take odd phrases on the package and start repeating them to your co-workers for no reason at all. This is especially funny or weird if the package says "Git-R-Done." My super nearly cried from laughing when I did that one. Third, you can thumb your nose at the IMB if the package has foreign language on it. Just simply pretend to close your eyes while reading the package out loud and simply tell people that it's your "private prayer language." This was suggested to me by a Pentecostal friend after I told him about finding Hebrew on several packages. Fourth, you can do pretty much anything you want with the oddity. Do a stand-up routine about it. Find ways to poke fun at it. Imagine starting a company on the odd slogan you find. There's really no limit to what you can do. Yes, I know this is pretty off the wall, but it's better than staring endlessly at packages and shipping labels. Give it a try and see if it helps!