Sunday, October 02, 2005

Of Mice and Wedding Registries, Part Deux

Well, all is good in the world--Tennessee won over Ole Miss, Alabama handed Florida their a...er...behind...on a crimson platter, and Louisville returned to form with a wholesale slaughter of Florida Atlantic. Now for another yawner on the virtues of the wedding registry. But first, the mice part. I got off work this morning and moseyed to Tricia's house to take advantage of her empty couch, as her mother had assigned us to watch the house this weekend. Unfortunately, her brother and his friends had already commandeered it for an all night drinking fellowship. So I decide to let the dog out, and no sooner had I opened the door than a big, fat, hairy, ugly rat takes off from the deck to the garage! Dang. Ellie, of course, immediately took off after it, but apparently her hunt was unsuccessful, as she exited the garage in a rather disappointed manner, did her business, and returned to the back door, patiently waiting for me to open it while I got over the shock of seeing a gigantic rat at 5 am. My god, that cheese-sucker was huge! Anyway, Tricia and I went today to the two stores we are registered at. We procured a scanning gun, and set out to scan pretty much whatever caught our fancy within the guidelines we'd established for what we needed. I naively thought this would be a breeze, but I underestimated the female ability to overanalyze and agonize over every little thing. Now, I love Tricia, but one of her (very few) less redeeming qualities is an inability to make a decision without welshing on it for 5-10 minutes when the decision is hers. As a guy, particularly a guy that doesn't like to shop for anything non-electronic, non-reading, or non-sports related, you can imagine how I felt. Add to that the fact that the changing Louisville weather has had my sinuses going haywire and I had a slight fever during this jaunt, and you get a pretty good idea of how I felt. Cranky is probably too polite a word. But finally, after four hours or so of work, we have the body of our registries fleshed out. And I learned a valuable lesson or two, one of which involves encouraging one's significant other that whatever decision they make you will be satisfied with since it had already been discussed and dissected ad nauseam. The second lesson is simply to never get divorced. Really guys, it's that simple: never get divorced. If you don't want to go through this stuff ever again, don't be stupid enough to get divorced in the first place. It's amazing to me how much of marriage can really be summed up in practical statements like that. If we want our lives to be easier, we must simply (insert practical pithy statement of wisdom here). And try not to put those statements into practice when you have a slight fever and a bad sinus condition like mine.

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